Friday, July 19, 2013

A short snippet from my book

I am sharing a few words from the book that I am writing about my experience with domestic violence.
The names have been changed, for the most part, to protect myself from persecution. The events are as accurate as I can remember them.

Fear is a powerful thing. It makes you do things that your common sense and conscious mind know are wrong. I found myself lying to everyone – my co-workers, my friends and my family. You find yourself rationalizing things to yourself that would seem nuts to other people. “If I am just nicer or quieter or more prompt, then he won’t hit me or rape me or I will get a little bit of affection.”

I was made to feel so low about myself and brainwashed to believe that he was the only person who would ever love me. I had become so obsessed with him that I followed him when he wasn’t with me. One day in particular stands out to me. I have fought with him about something or another. We were still living in Germany and in the barracks. He went down to see his friend (name withheld) who lived on the first floor. I went down and climbed into the friend's window. HE got up and grabbed me by the throat and pinned me to the door. He lifted me off of my feet and told me he would kill me. That was the first time he really was abusive. It was also the first time he tried to kill me.
Please let me know what you think by commenting below. I am open to all feedback.

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